I watched a movie called “Riding in cars with boys” recently. The overall premise is, a girl (played by Drew Barrymore) gets knocked up at the age of 15 in the 60’s and “ruins” her life. She doesn’t find anything positive about the situation. She blamed everyone in her life, her parents, her child, the father of her child. She never considered she may have fucked up and caused her own issues.
I’m not saying that having a baby young “ruins” your life. I know a lot of young moms who’ve owned it and became wonderful moms. The movie eludes to that statement.
The issue I had with this character was the blame game. She never took other peoples feelings into consideration. It was always about her. What they did to her, how what they did affected her. I honestly liked her rebellion at the beginning of the film, but then this thing of blaming everyone for her lack of success pissed me off.
It was an eye opener, especially because I’m older now and seeing it again I relate to everyone else and not her in this film. I remember feeling sorry for her, relating to her even. That yes she was a product of her situation and not the problem at all.
The thing I’m taking away from this rant is, you can’t blame everyone and everything in your life for how your life is. You are responsible to step up and change your circumstances, or just accept the “mistakes” you’ve made as yours and no one else’s. It’s a hard pill to swallow I’m sure, but owning it and learning from those mistakes instead of blaming, I think, is the point.
I have a lot of stories to tell and will find the strength to do so over time. Follow my blog to see it all unfold.
New Years resolutions are in full swing again. Whatever your resolutions are, this could be a great way of hitting the reset button and really achieving life goals! The sad reality about this wonderfully positive thing is that many people try and then quit. Is it human nature to think goals are not attainable? Do we have to fight to make life changes a reality? I have fought with this my whole adult life. It’s like I mentioned in a previous post, we have an end goal in mind but don’t want to make the trip to get there. Maybe re-evaluating that end goal will help you make the trip more achievable.
That being said, you and only you are accountable for holding yourself to achieving these goals. So how do you do this? What steps do you have to take to ensure you don’t “fall off the wagon” per se?
In another book I’m reading, “Girl wash your face” by Rachel Hollis she talks about (and I am paraphrasing) “what if you had a friend that constantly made promises and never showed up, or quit when you trusted they’d be there for you on a project? You wouldn’t be friends with them for long would you? So why do we do this to ourselves all the time?”
We make these resolutions and then give up, or make excuses to justify why we quit. “Life got in the way”, “I’m too tired”, “I just can’t do it” or whatever we tell ourselves. If you learned to hold yourself accountable like you would a friend then you’d more than likely find success. Don’t ya think?
I am taking this to heart this coming year, I have goals I have set for myself over and over again and just given up. I won’t be that friend you can’t trust anymore, I’ll be there and not give up. My resolutions are not monumental, so I just have to trust if I keep myself focused I will achieve them.
Here’s to another year!
I just finished reading the book “The Subtle Art of not giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson. It was an eye opener for me. I have read many “improve yourself” type books but nothing has got me to think differently until now. He talks about how to retrain your mind to stop thinking you need to be extraordinary in order to lead a good, grounded, happy life. He says “improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better.”
It’s all about perspective. For example if you had a dream to be a famous artist but didn’t want the hassle of going to art school and learning and growing as an artist, maybe being a famous artist isn’t actually what you should do. He says to take that list of wants you have in your life and then figure out how you would get there and then think if you want to make the trip.
At one point a couple years ago, I actually quit my career as a sales manager, a field I’d been working in for over a decade to paint. I did a couple of art shows and sold a few paintings but then nothing. I ending up starting a cleaning business. That “career” move last a couple of months, but I missed interacting with people.
My next position was managing a Starbucks in Calgary. I wanted to continue focusing on art and thought a coffee shop environment would be the perfect blend of making a living and encourage my creativity. That was a error in judgement as well. I was busier then I had been in years. And getting up at 4am everyday to sling coffee was – not – inspiring! All that to say is that I know art and creativity is very important to me. The path of being a starving artist is not the path I want, which means I will have to work a real job and create when I can. I’ve become more comfortable with this fact. Still learning and excited about it. Until next time….